It is not an easy journey to embark on.

Travelling together, even for a while, creates a bounding. A profound holding sp

ace. 

I wasn’t sure to record the session. I did not. 

The zoom was open. Participants settled in.

I always feel grateful and in wonder.

What would this session bring. What is willing to emerge?

I feel tension. Thoughts and doubts twirling around.

What if the participants are experiencing the same feelings? What is in me, is also in you. 

This is my narrative. Embarking on a new journey. In doubt. Not sure if I am doing this right. 

Old patterns that are holding me back. Not serving anymore. New patterns are being created, but still vulnerable. Newborn roots, and yet so old, full of intergenerational wis
dom. 

When I look behind me, I have so much to be grateful for.

In my female lineages, of both my parents, there have been Healers.

My Belgian grandmother was a medicine woman, always in her garden with medicinal plants. yet, the knowledge was not transferred consciously. 

A sister of my Nonna was a healer. Known in her village. So I have been told. My mother was a healer too. Only she was never able to fulfil this journey for many reasons. We were not at terms. By consequence her knowledge was also not transferred consciously.  

Yet, we have a saying ‘ het bloed kruipt waar het niet gaan kan’. It is in my lineage, finding a way to emerge. 

I embarked a journey two decades ago.  An indigenous medicine man brought me a ceremonial gift when I was leaving the Philippines.  I did not understood back then. Writing now, I realise he stirred the healer inside of me. 

My attention is drawn to the Swords. Old patterns, old mindsets. I also see new beginnings. Every time I can consciously be grateful and let go, there is breathing space to welcome whatever the future is holding for me.  

I see the water. It has two different currents. One is calm, the other troubled, restless. Are they meeting each other as seemingly opposite forces? Or is the troubled, restless sea transforming into a calm see? 

I feel balanced. Strong and - to my surprise - skilled. It seems not to matter

Water will always finds its way. It is a reflection of our emotions and the current of Life Energy. Without water, without air, there is no life. I can feel the wind. I love the sea. The vastness, the greatness, full with life underneath. 

I also feel some tension in my shoulders. Fear. Can the boat hold the two currents? Can I keep my balance? I am holding my breath. I am cold. 

I take a break. Putting on the heath and having some tea. 

Taking some distance, changing once’s perspective. 

There is a difference in writing it down on paper with a pen. There is a difference in writing it down with a keyboard. Two different perspectives. Two different experiences. As if, sharing my thoughts, insights with the world is more easy with a keyboard. The pen can be as sharp as a sword. 

I see the 6 swords. Leaning to the side with the troubled water. In a distance it is raining. Cloudy heavens. 

I imagine myself the card is a reflection of me. Of the Essence of Me. It is inviting me to cross over. To step into the boat and be the Essence of Me. I can hear the waves, the wind. I can see and feel the sensation of the vastness of the ocean. With awareness comes choice. I close my eyes. Where is the current taking me? I feel balanced. Skilled. The swords are they a burden? A ballast. I see the craftsmanship. The art of moulding metal. What is the purpose of a sword. Who made the sword. It seems fine, skilled work. Years and years of refining, reshaping. I pick up a sword. It feels balanced in my hand. Comfortable. As an extension of my Essence. There is art in handling a sword. Integrity. Self-knowledge. A sword ill moulded, ill handled can do a lot of damage. It requires skills and precision, determination and an inner growth to handle it with grace. 

Handled with precision from within, creating space to handle, to cut the crap. My crap. 

I breath in the oxygen into my heart. And breath out, out of my heart to my surroundings

I sense there is a land, a mountain behind me. A smile appears on my face, realising there is no straight journey while on sea. Learning to skill-fully play with the currents and undercurrents, the wind, listening to the sound of the waves, the squeaks of the seagulls, telling me “that it is time to evaluate my surroundings and either retreat, or make changes, as necessary”. 

The Seagulls are high in the sky. Like a footnote in the sky. A gentle reminder of my Spirit Guides. 

I feel expanded, grounded and whole. As my true Essence, my Inner Wisdom, I look to myself, to the Anne that is writing this narrative.  I nod. I feel my heart radiating. I smile. Writing from within is cleansing the soul. I am aware the Anne that is writing is also afraid, anxious to share this. But when it comes from the heart there is a spaciousness that can hold  those voices as well. 

I smile again. Step out of the card. Bringing this wisdom in my body, my typing fingers.

I love writing. I haven’t for such a long time.

I delete “ I haven’t for such a long time”.

I love writing from the heart. 

Anne x

CLOSING CIRCLE MEDITATION

- Contemplations & Affirmation

We end the session with a contemplation & an affirmation of the beautiful Sufi Tarot by Ayeda Husain.